is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
