that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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