Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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