we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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