good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
