wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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