Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
