Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
