and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
