he thought i was a dude.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
