Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I need water and some morals
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
