and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
