Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
