That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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