You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
