You're completely useless in the revolution.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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