yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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