remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
