I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
