i'm signing you up for texting rehab
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
