This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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