ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
