It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
