pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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