my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
