its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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