I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
