I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
