I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
