Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am full of burrito and curiosity
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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