I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
