i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
