420 ftw
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
