You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
