ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
