Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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