well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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