ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
