just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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