so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
