So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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