I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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