i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
