Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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