Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The Olympian is in my bed
I wear drunk well.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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