are you so shy because you have an std?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
