She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
