In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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