Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Is it penis luge time yet?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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