Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I cut my penus on the lid.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
