And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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