Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just pee around me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
