Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
