I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
thus making me awesome and them whores
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
