whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
