Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
